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Quintin Tarantino must really hate Japanese people. I have never seen so many dead asians in all my life.
The good thing about movies by Tarantino is that you learn a whole lot of useful information. For example I had no idea that Japanese blood is carbonated. But, sure enough every Japanese person that got cut in this movie spewed blood all over the place. It was like they had no hearts and their blood was just kept under constant pressure. Or maybe their hearts beat like 50 times faster than non asian hearts. That wouldnt surprise me actually. I bet the Japanese have found a way to make their hearts run more efficiantly than American hearts. Just like a Honda.
This movie also reiforced the time tested rule about women. If you screw a woman over, you better kill her. Women have the memories of elephants, and they hold a grudge like no other. Uma is one vengeful mofo. She had some jacked up feet though. Probably because she never wore socks. I mean I am all for the casual look, but wtf? Arent leading ladies supposed to have sexy feet? Girl's big toe looked like she had been gnawing on it. Whatever, she had shoes on in most of the movie.
The other thing I learned from this movie is to never be in a coma. Aparently if you are in a coma, the nurses will pimp your body for 75 bucks a pop (no pun intended). I dont think thats fair unless that money is deducted from the hospital bill. Even then I think that should be something your insurance policy notifies you of.
In any case, I think you should see this movie. It is a great way to take your mind off of the real world where people second guess you when you do your job.
I dont know why, but I was thinking about the good ole days and I remembered an old neighbor. Mister Candler lived above us for 2 short years when I lived in an apartment. He was in his late 50's and was probably the nicest older guy I have ever met.
Mr. Candler kept weird hours. I only saw him when I would come back in from school. He was usually just getting the paper in at about that time. In fact the only times I ever saw him were just in passing. He would always tell me I should study hard and keep in shape so I would have good stamina when I was his age.
I dont think Mr. Candler slept too well because he was always listening to the radio or watching tv late at night. I think he was really into the discovery channel because he watched shows that sounded like they were about taming wild animals and stuff. He also had weird taste in music. It was all cheesy 70's sounding stuff. But he was older so I guess it makes sense.
He was always hanging out with his daughters. He had like 6 of them. There was no misses Candler that I knew of. I guess she passed away before I ever knew him. But I never saw his daughters leave. They would all come by about 6 o'clock in the afternoon, but I guess they left after I was asleep. I think sometimes they stayed late to watch TV with him. They seemed to know a lot about taming animals too. I think they would imitate the discovery channel or something because they were always making animal noises and stuff.
I will never forget that aweful fight he had with one of his daughters. She kept yelling about money he owed her, and how she was better than him. She left and I never saw her again.
Mr. Candler was arrested shortly after that. As it turns out his daughters werent in college. They were all between the ages of 16 and 18. How can one man have 6 or so daughter all 2 years apart? He cant. You see, they werent his daughters. In fact they were not even related to him... I hope. They were his employees. Mr. Candler was running an adult video business out of his apartment. He was having sex with all of these girls and selling video tape of it. And now you know... the rest of the story.
I dont know why. I cannot explain it. It is not true for all of them. But a lot of the time, all I can say is band kids are freakin weird.
Band kids seem to have their own subculture. Its like no one an get in to the circle of friends. This is not to say that a lot of other people want to get in. The band kids simply make it clear no one else can get in.
The band kids you have to watch out for are the ones who either think they are cool BECAUSE they are in band, or the ones who have nothing else going for them other than the fact they are in band. Either of these types can be equally annoying. Using the band lingo that simple non musical people dont understand, or making fun of people based on their instrument. (Granted everyone makes fun of the french horns, not just because they are french, but who wants to shove their hand up anythings ass, let alone a cold metal french ass.)
And what is up with the freakin love triangles? Band seems to be like Jerry Springer with trumpets. These kids are the horniest bunch of people ever. I know some of these kids couldnt get anywhere if it werent for being in band, and I think that is what astounds me. You have this group of equally undesirable people who hook up like rabbits, and then get all suicidal (litterally) when the troll that dumped them hooks up with another douche bag. Yeah I know people do this in real life too, but in band it seems to get magnified because they freakin tell everyone about it. Everyone knows that Bobby the saxophone player got dissed by Susie the flute for Jerry the tuba player. And then everyone has to listen to Bobby whine about it instead of being a man and pimp smacking the girl with her flute for being a ho.
Whatever. Never having been in band myself I guess I just dont get it. All I know is that if a band kid ever came up to me with a problem I would stab him.
...or something.
So yeah I finally called a lawyer about that incident the other night. It took like 10 tries to get some one who would play ball. And even then the guy ended up being a total loser. So I talked to this guy and told him how I think I may be in legal trouble for the traffic incident listed a few posts down from here. He told me that I had a very weak case and he wouldnt represent me even if the court appointed him to. In fact I think the phrase waste of taxpayers dollars to go to court came up. He reccomended that I settle and give this guy whatever he wants. I dont do that. I am no ones fool. You gotta earn your keep around here. No freebies. All I know is that if that little dude in the Honda wants to try anything I will smack him again. I dont play that. I bet the lawyer is in on it. It's just a conspiracy.
I did talk to another friend of mine who knows a guy. He said that for 50 bucks and a case of beer this dude that lives in the woods can make that guy "dissapear". I dont know if I should do business with that type of person. My mother always said to watch out for people who practice wicca. But it would still be cool to see his act. Especially if the result is an invisible accident victim. I mean how can he defend himself in court if he doesnt exist anymore?
Any advice is appreciated.
Ok dudes. It's not nearly as cool as you think. Pink shirts, and shorter than usual shorts mean one thing where I come from. Unless you like to do the bunny hop, stop dressing like a queer. I dont know who told you guys that those khaki shorts that break like 5 inches above the knee are cool, but they're not. Pink shirts, also not cool. What kind of guy wears pink anyhow? I mean have you ever woke up and said hmm I need a shirt that says to the world "It's a girl!!!"? I haven't. Unless you are big enough to intimidate me, stay off the gay apparel. In fact quit shopping at the Gap entirely. Guys should be very cautious of a store shat sells pink sweaters and capri pants to guys. Especially if that same store sells khakis and white oxfords to girls.
Pink shirts and booty shorts are for girls... well pink shirts, booty shorts, aprons, hampers, sinks, washing machines, ovens and mops.
Yeah so the guy I worte about a few posts down from here... He freakin found me and is pressing charges! What am I supposed to do now? Is it illegal to kidnap a person if they are suing you? This guy sucks! Should I call a lawyer or something? Any advice? Maybe I can just pretend I dont remember?
You know what I love? I love catching a person in the act of hypocrassy. I also love it when I can catch a total tool in the act of being a total butt sucking tool. I love it even more when I can catch them in the act of both at the same time! For example, this was posted as a comment to something I wrote earlier...
Sunday October 12, 2003
Comment by: jen (10:49:21 PM CDT)
Are you an idiot or something? I just thought I'd ask. Actually, I don't even NEED to ask, there is no doubt...
DUH...get a clue dumbass...
~jen~
Man, I was truly humbled by her words. They struck such a chord with me that I almost ended my "dumbass" ways, until I read this...
Sunday October 12, 2003 Comment by: jen evilmscangel@earthlink.net (7:52:49 PM AKDT)
I agree with you! You should be able to voice your own thoughts and opinions on YOUR blog. I hate people who post negative responses....its an online journal people, get a clue. No one is holding a gun to your head saying "Read this"...Girl...post whatever floats your boat, then sink the others.Huh? Ok...I better get some sleep...
~jen~
So jen, what was that you saying about being a dumbass?
Yeah thats right I said Dolphins piss me off. I hate those stupid animals. Ok so I have put up with this crap for long enough. Its like every time I go out I have to buy dolphin safe tuna. Man dolphins suck. They arent real mammals anyhow. All they do is swim. They are like poser fish. Its like they want to be just like a fish, but they get all pissy when you call them one. What good are they? I hear people talking about how smart they are, and I say that is a bunch of crap. If they are so smart, then why do they keep getting caught in those tuna nets? All I know is that if I ever meet a dolphin face to face, I am gonna kick him in the nuts! I am ashamed to call myself a mammal just because I have to share the name with such a worthless waste of life like a dolphin.
Show your support and tell me how much you hate those worthless animals too!
If I ruled the country the first 10 things I would do would be:
...to send a few cruise missiles at france, nothing serious just a way to mess with those silly frogs.
...to buy a dog cause if I was the president I would need a cool dog.
...to help Lance Bass achieve his goal of going to space... and then to help any memebr of a boy band go to space as long as they stayed there for a while.
...to appoint some really cool people to my cabinet. I think Arnold, Stalone, and Bruce Willis would make good joint chiefs because anytime people saw me in a meeting with people that tough they would be afraid.
...to get a cool bulletproof car and then shoot it a few times just to make sure.
...to do something about the number of incredibly stupid commercials on tv. Have you seen any of those for those comapnies that want you to refinance your home? WTF? Is everyone in debt a freakin moron?
While we are talking about stupid... I would finally be able to implement a plan to have stupid people sterilized. Common sense is not to be underestimated. Not everyone has it.
...to nuke something. I think it might be cool to blow up a piece of the moon. Maybe I could carve my Initials in it.
...to make it illegal for celebrities to be annoying. I am not talking carrot top annoying thats part of his charm. I am talking Penny Marshal annoying. That chick needs to be deported. Courtney Love bothers me too.
It might be cool to do something about the poverty level, but who knows if that would work?
Anything I missed?
So I have this little problem and I need advice...
The other night I was driving home and I hit this guy from behind at an intersection. I was driving the bigger vehicle, and I know the law says that I am at fault but listen to the specifics...
Ok, I was drunk as crap so of course I can't be expected to drive properly. He was stopped at a red light but had his turn signal on, so I just figured he was going to turn since it was like 3 am, and there was no traffic. He didn't. So I smacked into him. I was in my friend's truck that had this brush guard on the front of it, so I am good to go. He was in one of those little rice burning Hondas, and now it really has no rear end. Anyhow I got out and politely asked him who the hell he thought he was sitting there in an empty intersection like it was a parking lot. He got all up tight and told me there was a sign that said no turn on red. To be honest I don't know if there was or not. I didn't have my glasses on so I couldn't see worth crap anyhow. So we argued for like 10 minutes, which was annoying because he had a high-pitched voice like a little kid. "You hit my car... It is your fault... Now I have no trunk..." Blah Blah blah. Well I kept trying to explain to him that if he had not been sitting there, I wouldn't have hit him, it's that simple. One thing led to another and he walked up to me and tried to hit me. Pshh I am not having that at all so I walked over to my friend's truck and got his mag lite out of the glove box. I told this little guy that if he didn't watch out I was going to bash him in the face. Well he thought that was a threat, and told me he dared me to... Never dare a drunk guy to do something that has no foreseeable downside. So I smacked him as hard as I could in the head with it. I thought I missed because he just fell out like a light. I mean it wasn't like hitting anything with substance. This guy couldn't have been more than like 130 pounds. Anyhow by this point it was really late and I had stuff to do the next day. I mean I kinda felt bad for leaving him there, but he was a twerp anyhow. So I just got in my friends truck and left.
My questions at this point are many. Should I tell my friend that I was in an accident with his car? Do I need to file an accident report? I think I may be open to legal repercussions if I don't do something. I mean I am not really sure if my friend has insurance. I just needed his truck to get to the bar. I thought about calling an ambulance to pick up that guy I smacked. Then I decided it was just the hand fate dealt him. I mean no one did me any favors this morning when I had a hangover, so why should I help that dude out? I mean what luck right? Why does this crap always happen to me?
In any case I would like your advice. Thanks!
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