The people's Republic of California 

The people's Republic of California

Remember these times people because only in California will you ever see a highly paid body builder, a midget, a porn star, an aristocratic upity woman, a comedian who smashes fruit with a hammer, your next door neighbor, your third grade teacher, and some crippled guy who sells dirty magazines on the ballot to run for Governor!

Holy freakin crap, I stop watching the news for a few days and California goes nuts! Even more so than it already was! I mean who the crap decided that you can impeach a governor? The people voted for him in the first place didn't they? What caused them to change their minds? Oh yeah, I know what it was... They saw Terminator 3 and all had the same thoughts as the rest of us: "Whoa that was freakin awesome did you see that explosion? And that fight... and oh gee whiz what about that scene with the machine gun? I want that guy to be Governor!!!" I mean honestly who wouldnt want Aahnold to be in charge of their state? I think we could use a guy like him here. But if I was living in Califoahnia (Thats how Aahnold says it and that is what it will be referred to from now until the end of his term.)

Personally, I would vote for Gary Coleman. He hasnt had a break since he did that guest appearance on the Wayans bros. back in the day. I think he would make a good Governor of Cali because he represents that circus of a state better than anyone. Everyone knows you can't have a circus without midgets.

I called Cali the other day and asked if I could run, but believe it or not there actually are requirments and not just anyone can run. It is a highly important institution that the entire state takes very seriously. Yeah... and monkeys might fly out of your butt. ...Well they might, since this is the internet I dont necessarily know you. Whatever.

Im out. The world is a crazy place and if for one second any of you think that "normal" is something that happens the majority of the time then you are sorely mistaken.