Its funny when the cops show up at church
At least I find it humorous. The other night some friends of mine and I went to play capture the flag with one of the church groups here on campus. Since police intervention in church activities is kind of frowned upon I will allow them to remain nameless. Anyhow the way college kids play capture the flag in this town is pretty hard core. We were all decked out in camo and face paint, and looked like a cross between al qaeda and a Klan black face lynch mob. There were probably 80 or so of us. We decided to go to this city park that has acres and acres of open field along with a bunch of thick woods to play this rather massive game.
It was about 9 or so when we arrived and very dark. There were no lights in the park, and most of us knew full well that it closed at sundown. To us this didn?t mean we would be unwelcome there, it simply meant no one else would be there to interrupt this game. So, we got there and all took a group photo. If you see it I am the one who is flashing the shocker. Then we broke up into teams. We then decided to trek through the dark paths that led to the fields. We were loud to say the least.
Of course once we split up, we had to come up with a code word so that if we ran into some one in the pitch black woods we would be able to figure out if they were on our team or not. This saved us the trouble of getting to know the new people on our team, as well as the responsibility of caring who our teammates were. We spent about 10 minutes trying to invent a code word because we are lame.
Then we actually started playing. Half of our team ran straight into the woods and the other half stayed behind to tackle the crap out of anyone who came into our field. I was feeling adventurous so I decided to trek through the woods with about 5 other guys on our teams. We were all gung ho and too off running full speed into the woods. At night. In the dark. Oops. We made it about 3 feet before we realized running into the woods doesn?t work. So we backed ourselves out and split up and decided to walk through them. This worked only slightly better. We made it about 10 feet before we had split up far enough apart that we could no longer see each other.
I walked on in a little while and realized that these weren?t like planted woods, these were just overgrown jungle woods. As I looked around I realized that I could see absolutely nothing. I could hear one of my idiot teammates saying the code word out loud like he thought something in his neck of the woods (see what I did there?) would respond to him. I looked behind me and what I saw there looked exactly like what was in front of me. That is, a big pile of darkness with no discernable characteristics to guide me. I figured I could be a wuss and go back to my field or be a man and figure out what was deeper in these woods. I figured they couldntbe more than about 10-15 yards thick. I was wrong.
I pushed further through and managed to snag every thorn, sticker and vine around my neck, face and hands. Luckily the camo I was wearing was thick enough that the rest of me did not get covered in that crap. I think my most manly moment came when I stumbled? literally stumbled across a fallen log over a hole, creek, puddle, or something that I couldn?t reach my foot down into. I placed my hand on it to crawl over it and all I could think was ?Eeeew this thing is all slimy!? Yeah I get out in the woods a lot. Shut up.
Eventually I made it to where I could see light at some point in front of me. At this point I realized that I was going to make it out quicker than I thought and my only thought was not getting the other teams flag, or breathing free of vines and thorns around my neck. No. It was simply to wait at the edge of the woods and scare the living shit out of some unsuspecting member of the game. I didn?t really even care who?s team they were on. I wouldn?t have known anyhow because I wasn?t paying attention when they went over the code.
With my hopes lifted I decided to pick up the pace a little and figured out that staying low to the ground was a good way to do this. As I picked up speed I stopped putting my hands in front of me, which meant I was more likely to get snagged on something. Well Of all the things in these woods to get snagged on I was the least worried about barbed wire. I was moving at a pretty good paste and came across what I thought was a vine or something. So I kept going. It didn?t give too much and I ended up on my ass. I crawled over to it and saw what it was. I was pissed off at first but realized that this meant that I had reached the other end of the woods.
I sat at the eds in the darkness and waited for someone to walk close to me. A few people walked by talking crap about how they were going to find our team and blah blah blah? I was poised and ready to pounce on the first unsuspecting kid that came my way. Then I heard what no college kid trespassing ever wants to hear. ?Games over! The cops are here!!?
Shit. I was having fun and was going to scare the piss out of some one but no. Not tonight. Some jerk had to call the police on us for trying to have a little fun. Well I decided to head back with the group to the cars. The cops were very polite. The look on their faces as a group of 35 of us walked out of the woods in a line was worth the whole night. It was almost as good as the look on their face when we told them there was at least this many more of us still in the woods.
Of course not everyone got the memo that the cops had showed up so we had to go back into the woods to find a few people that had taken the game o a whole new level. Somehow they made it to the other side of the park next to the highway. Good for them for being creative.
It only took an hour to get everyone out and gone. And by ?only? I mean holy crap it took an hour to get everyone to leave. This proves once again that Christians do not react well to pressure. But one of the cops did let some of our group use the bullhorn in his car, so that was cool. And for future reference these days it takes three cops to answer a trespassing call.
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