The letter I wrote to request donations for a mission trip

Dear some person who has extra cash lying around and wants a tax deduction,

In March of 2004 I will be participating in a mission trip with the Auburn Wesley Foundation. We will be spending 6 days in the Bahamas with the locals. Now I know what you are thinking, "What kind of mission work is there to be done in the Bahamas?" Well let me tell you. The Nassau Hilton needs a new casino and one thing led to another and a friend of a friend got us the hook up and... Just kidding. We are actually going to Eluthera Island. Don't worry if you have never heard of it. I haven't either. All I know about it is this. They really need our help down there. In fact this island is just the stepping stone is Wesley's plan of world domination. We will try our mind cleansing tactics here to see if they will work in the rest of the world.

Now, I know this sounds too good to be true but global domination is not cheap. The test monkeys alone cost about 50 bucks a week to feed. Each member of the "mission" team is being asked to raise $800.00 to cover the cost of going to the Bahamas for a week. I know it has been a while since we have spoken. In fact the last time you heard from me was the last time I needed money. Surely you can find it in your heart to donate to this truly worthy cause. I hope things are well with you, and that you still feel like continuing your philanthropy towards world domination. I ask that you please consider donating something even if it is just a small amount. Every dollar you donate means we are that much closer to everyone else thinking the same way we do. Besides you drive a BMW and the donation is tax deductible so it's not like you can't afford to send me a little something something.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter, and once again I hope you will consider making a donation.

Is His name,

*************

...Needless to say, I am not going on the mission trip anymore. Oh well such is life.