If it werent for crazy people, life would suck 

If it werent for crazy people, life would suck

Even though working at a bookstore generally sucks asshole most of the time. There are days when something wonderful makes everything worthwhile.

The other day I was doing some hard work that involved counting Christmas ornaments and stacking them into a drawer. By stacking them into a drawer I mean cramming as many as I could fit into the drawer because I only had so much space. I also only had so much concern for the condition their safety.

One of the other associates was helping a man find a book? or trying to. I wasn?t paying much attention because this is the type of thing that happens a lot in a bookstore. People want books and are not able to find them. Apparently the alphabetical system of arranging things has the citizens of Lee County slightly confused. After hearing him raise his voice a little I decided to go help this poor girl out. I was bored and this guy looked like he might be looking for an argument as well.

?May I help you find something sir??
?Yeah, you can get me the autobiography of David Berkowitz.? He said in a very irate tone.

Ok pause for a second. There is a highly excitable little man looking for a book about a serial killer. Jackpot!

?Well I believe she just told you that we don?t have that in right now. I would be more than happy to check and see if it is a book we can order for you.?
?I don?t want it ordered for me, I want to see several of them on the shelf, this is a popular book!?
?Well unfortunately we don?t carry it sir, so the only way I can get one for you is to order it.?
?You don?t need to know my name.?
?I do actually if you want me to order that book for you.?
?I don?t want it ordered I already said that. Now look, I have been here several times before looking for this and I was told by two managers that you have one in the store and it is in the wrong place. You people need to fix that crap and get it over here!?
?well I don?t know how they told you that because our computers don?t tell us how many we have on hand (Yeah, I know that sounds hard to believe but we suck and so do our computers.). I can however go get a manager if you would rather speak to them.?
?I don?t care enough to speak to them again, they obviously don?t know anymore than you do. It wont do any good, you people don?t care about customer service here!?
?Well I am sorry you feel that way sir, there is a 800 number you can call if you wish to let someone at our corporate office know.?
?Will that get the damn book on the shelf??
?No sir the only way to do that is to order it, but then you already know that.?

At this point I realized he was either crazy or trying to piss me off, so I decided to see if I could piss him off first. I think I won. He started back into his rant.

?Well I don?t want to order it because I don?t feel like giving you my information. And let me tell you one more thing??

?What?s that sir?? I asked in my nicest most sincere employee voice.
?I have been here 8 times looking for this book in the past 5 weeks. I come here once a week! (I know the math doesn?t add up, I just went with it, you should do the same.) I am only comingback one more time and it better be here!?
?It will be if you order it, otherwise it probably wont. The odds simply don?t seem to be in your favor do they??
?Well if it isn?t there is going to be trouble!?
?No there isn?t.?
?There is too because I am going to push every one of those books off that shelf!?
?If you do that then we are going to have a problem.?
?No we wont.?
?Yeah we will.?
?Nope because you will be the one with the problem.?
?Sir.? I got all tough sounding and tried to be a bad ass here. If you come into my store and knock books on the floor believe me when I say it will be you with the problem.?
?Nuh uh? He said sounding like my 3 year old brother when he disagrees with something.
?Yuh huh? I said trying my best to sound exactly like him.
?I didn?t say I was going to throw books on the floor.?
?You did actually.?
?I said I am going to turn the shelves over.?
?Well I would prefer that you not do that either.?
?Then get that book.?
?Order it.?
?No?
?We can do this as long as you want man.?
?Where are your newspapers? I need the New York Times.?
?Over there in the caf?.?
?You do have the Times right??
?Of course we do!? I said not knowing whether we carried it or not. To be honest I kind of hoped we didn?t. We did, and he came walking back towards the register to buy it. As he did the girl there asked him if he had a discount card. Now, discount cards are a magical thing at this store. Most people don?t want to buy one because they cost 10 bucks and only save you 10 percent. In this town that is just a little more than the sales tax, which is 8 percent. Every little bit helps I guess. Anyhow?

?No I don?t have one and I don?t want to buy one either.?

Seeing another opportunity to piss him off, I interrupted. ?Well sir, are you aware that you can save 10 percent off of everything in the store??
?You don?t have what I am looking for.? He was quite agitated at this point. That meant I was in control now.
?Yes sir, but you could save 10 percent on everything else.?
?I don?t want it.?
?Are you sure??
?Yes?
?Positive??
?Look, you better have that book when I come back!?
?Look you better not even thing about throwing books on my floor when you come back.?
?If you had what I wanted I wouldn?t.?
?If you break or throw anything we will have a problem.? Yeah I was trying to sound tough again. Shut up.
?I am coming back next week.?
?Don?t throw books on the floor.?
?I am coming back.?
?Don?t throw any books and we wont have any trouble.?
?You will if that book isn?t here.?
?You will if you act the fool.?

Then he walked out, and I am praying that I will be there if and when this skitzoid comes back. Keep checking back for an update if he does!

Return to Main Page

Comments

Comment Create

Sun Oct 16, 2005 1:21 am MST by Lakers Tickets

Comment That is funny as hell. People really get off on acting like jackasses.

Tue Aug 24, 2004 12:40 am MST by Anonymous

Add Comment




On This Site

  • About this site
  • Main Page
  • Most Recent Comments
  • Complete Article List
  • Sponsors

Search This Site


Syndicate this blog site

Powered by BlogEasy


Free Blog Hosting