Never trust a dude with only one eyebrow! 

Never trust a dude with only one eyebrow!

Ok, so I go to this recruitment party for this potentially lame organization on campus that looks good on a resume. I am trying to meet people and doing a little botty kissing just to make a nice impression. On my way out this dude asks for my information. I give it to him. He says he will give me a call before new member decisions are made. Whatever.

He calls me sunday afternoon and starts rambling on and on about all these people he works with and how cool they are etc. I am thinking this has something to do with the campus organization so I am not really paying too much attention to him. He wants to meet with me so we can talk in person. Whatever. He asks to set up a meeting so I can meet some of his associates. In the back of my mind I am thinking this is all related to the organization I am trying to join. Aparrently it isnt. He kisses my ass and tells me I seem sharp, outgoing, well spoken etc. I am thinking he is either trying to sell me something, trying to convert me to mormonism, or a total flamer who wants something else entirely. He asks me when would be a good time to meet, and I tell him i dont know. I am just putting him off because I dont really have time to shoot the crap with some dork. He says he will call me back when I am next to my calendar and I say ok and hang up.

All in all a weird conversation but I am not really worried, I just figured he was from Montgomery or someplace and never learned how to talk to people. He calls me back later that night. We set a time and decide to meet.

This is what got me. I asked him exactly what we are meeting to discuss. He tells me it is almost impossible to describe on the phone. I ask him to try, and he says he will call me back with some better details when he knows where we are going to meet. Red flag number one.

He calls back the next day and says we are going to meet at his buddy's place because his buddy has a friend that they want to talk with also. Whatever. He tells me how to get there and I ask him again what we are meeting about. He dodges the question again, and tells me his buddy is going to talk to us for a while and it will make more sense then. Another red flag. At this point I agree to meet with them out of sheer curiosity. What could they have to tell me that is so important they dont know what it is?

Well I go over to this guys place. It is an apartment in a pretty nice complex, but nothing really great. It is nice enough that I was initially impressed... until I walked in the door. The guys apartment has almost no furniture. There is nothing on the walls, some old mail on the counter, and no furniture in the bedroom other than the bed. He also didnt have a computer which I thought was odd for a guy living in a pricey place like that. Anyhow, remember that detail its important later.

So, I walk in and the dude who I met at the new member info party thing greeted me, and I noticed for the first time he only had one eyebrow. Like, he has one stripe of hair that goes accross his head. He seriously looked like burt the muppet. I was very dissapointed in myself for not noticing this earlier but he did have a hat on last time I saw him.

Anyhow, we shoot the breeze for a while until the other guy gets there. There is another guy there that I have not met before. He is a big guy who looks stoned or drunk, I couldnt tell. He had squinty eyes, and messed up hair, but was wearing suit pants and a tie.

While we are waiting they totally kiss my ass, telling me they like my jacket, and shoes etc... One guy asks me where my jacket came from because he thinks its so cool. I tell him it nothing special, It deffinately came from american eagle, so there are probably several other people around that have one just like it. They throw a couple more bullshit compliments at me like how they have heard good things about me and so on. Assholes. Who the hell do they think I am? At this point I know I am being buttered up bcause some one wants my money. Pricks. However I had to know what they were slinging. Other than throwing BS like a fastball they definately wanted something.

Then they do the typical whats your major conversation. I tell them criminology and that I want to go federal etc etc. Before I go further let me just Sigh. Ok. I kid you not the next question out of this guys mouth was, "What is the drug test like for the FBI?"

"Well dude I dont exactly know. It is probably like any other piss test."

"Right because my sister says that if you ever smoked up they will be able to tell."

"Maybe. I mean I couldnt tell you, to be honest Im not too concerned myself."

"Yeah I got high a lot when I was younger"

"oh..." What the crap am I supposed to say to that? Im sorry? Thats cool? Whatever. What a way to start a night. After the other dude gets there the same guy that told me what a pot head he was gets up with a white board and marker and And BAM! He's off! Dreams. He starts talking about dreams. He prefaces this by making sure he doesnt want anyone's opinion. He tells us how we are taught by the system to dream small. Kids are always told no. Schools are run by socialists. Blah Blah Blah. I guess he had been taught not to dream of possessing furniture.

He goes from the dream speach to telling us how we are being molded by "the system" into sheep. At this point I am seriously freakin out trying to figure out what group of mental people I have gotten mixed up in. It was either some wacko cult, or a messed up pyramid scheme.

He starts talking about money. A lot of money. Then everything became crystal clear. Pyramid scheme. For the low low investment of 104 dollars plus 108 worth of shopping I should do through their website, I could be making 6 figures in 6 years. All I had to do was recruit people just like they recruited me, and tell them how rich they could get. Then I would be on my way to financial independence, and be a legally recognized small business owner.

Obviously this was totally lame... no let me call it what it was. This was total bullshit, because any idiot knows that no respectable job expects you to drop down money to "join" without something in writing.

You can imagine my dissapointment. At this point the guy went on to talk about success stories etc etc. If you are interested in brainwashing, the website is called quixtar.com. If that doesnt sound familiar then does "amway"? Thats right folks its a buyers club, and they want to sell me crap that is so aweful wal mart stores wont even carry it. I can redirect my buying habbits to them and get rebates!!! Thats right instead of saving ten percent by shopping at wal mart I should spend more wth quixtar so I can get a rebate. Holy crap.

Now here is the part I find the most ironic. The dude is up there talking crap about money this and money that. He is telling me how I should dream big and want to make a lot of money, and associate with people who made it. Then he tells me how I need to check out this website. I need to go check it out because he can;t show us. He cant show us because he DOES NOT OWN A COMPUTER!!! Nor does he own furniture! A man with no computer and no furniture is telling me how much money I can make with HIS plan. What the crap? So I ask the other guy that seems to be in the know as much as the speaker a few questions.

"Where are you on that dollar making chart?"

"Me? well I am workin my way up to the 6 percent mark, but you should come to our next meeting."

"6 percent? so thats a lot?"

"Well im not in the 6 figures yet... so do you understand everything, do you have any other questions?"

"Yeah do you have a brochure, or something that has all this in writing? Or is there a website I can go to and see it all again?"

"Nah bro I dont have any brochures, but let me write this website down for you."

I kid you not the man who told me how wealthy he was becoming and how wealthy I could become did not have paper in his apartment, and had to borrow MY pen to write a web address on a torn up used envelope...

Needless to say I had no further questions. If you are interested do a search for quixtar on google. After the first 8 or so pages that it lists, which are all corporate pages tied to quixtar, you will find nothing but negative articles and reports about what a scam this company is.

For now I will contnue to support the evil giant that is wal mart. At least they are honest about being an evil mega corporation.